Till bullets do us part: A soldier's love story

 MILITARY COUPLE. 1st Lt Francis Damian and his wife, Lt Junior Grade Aemy Leslie Campos-Damian, pose for a souvenir photo during the baptismal rites of their 7-month old daughter on September 8, two weeks before his tragic death in Zamboanga City. (Photo by Lt JG Aemy Leslie Campos-Damian)

IT REQUIRES a strong heart with titanium tenacity to love a warrior of peace.  A soldier’s life is always fraught with danger and worry to his family, especially to his or her partner. 

The love story of 1st Lt Francis Damian, 28, and his lovely wife, Lt Junior Grade Aemy Campos-Damian,28, is a love story that was ended by the atrocities initiated by the armed followers of  a faction of Moro National Liberation Front headed by Nur Misuari in Zamboanga City.

It was early morning on September 24, 2013 when he died fighting in an urban terrain in Santa Barbara Village, Zamboanga City.  A single bullet from an entrenched enemy pierced through his helmet, sending fragments that would fracture his skull.

That day, his wife’s metal was tested.

Career

They attended the Philippine Military Academy together, graduating in the same year as members of the PMA Class of 2007.

Since cadetship, they had different preferences.

As a child, she was always fascinated with sea adventures. A native of Zamboanga City, the sights of colorful vintas and the seemingly unreachable horizons of the Sulu Sea influenced her decision to join the Philippine Navy.

Meanwhile, Damian followed the footsteps of his father by joining the Army infanty. Aside from being a PMA graduate himself, the elder Damian was a US Army Ranger course graduate and a distinguished officer of the defunct Philippine Constabulary.

Since childhood, he had seen the action photos of his proud father who had served in the frontlines as a combat leader. He had always wanted to be like him. He wanted to outdo him by voluntarily joining the Army’s elite unit, the Special Operations Command.

In 2010, he attended the Scout Ranger School where he earned his ‘Musang’ (Scout Ranger) tab.

They found themselves madly in love a couple of years after their graduation. 

In 2012, they decided to be married ‘secretly’, a memorable event that was witnessed only by a few handpicked ‘mistahs’ (classmates).

In 2013, they bore a child, a beautiful daughter that would become the center of their affection.

Family life

Like any other military couple, they were constantly separated hundred of miles away.

She was assigned as the Public Affairs Officer of the Philippine Navy forces in Western Mindanao while her husband was serving SOCOM in Fort Magsaysay.

Their daughter stayed with her in Zamboanga City.

Phone calls and emails have kept their relationship intact. They took turns in spending short vacations to spend bonding moments as a family.

The last time they spent such a vacation together was during the baptism of their child on September 8, 2013.

Aemy said that both of them understood their unique situation.

“We agreed on things as a couple. I get used to be away from him but we always find ways to maintain our relationship healthy,” she said.

She said that though she is also a soldier like him, she also is struggling to cope with the hardships of being away from her husband.

“Due to the nature of his job in the Army, he was always assigned away from me. When our daughter was born, he was not there to see me.”

A typical gung-ho soldier, she said that Francis always wanted to pursue specialized military training.

“I did not interfere in his own career as an Army officer. I always supported his career plans including his intent to undergo Special Forces training after finishing his Airborne training.”

When she was assigned to the naval unit in Zamboanga City, it was time for them to be separated by distance again.

They decided to raise their child in Zamboanga City where she stayed with her parents.  He stayed in Manila where his unit is before being sent to any combat missions.

Last ‘long’ 30 minutes

A few days before his graduation at the Airborne school, more or less 200 heavily-armed followers of Nur Misuari attacked Zamboanga City, taking innocent civilians as hostage.

A few days later, his unit was sent to reinforce the troops who confronted the gunmen who used human shields while trading bullets with the security forces.

She said that he had told her that he wanted to drop from Airborne training just to join his unit in Zamboanga City.

“When he consulted me about his intention to drop from Airbone school, I objected. I wanted him to finish it and earn the badge because he only has a few days to go,” said Aemy.

She said that Francis would call him many times a day to get updates.

“He was very worried because we might be affected by the hostilities. I initially declined because the hostage-takers were actually occupying a village several kilometers away from our home,” she said.

“I was surprised one day when some of his soldiers knocked on my door to evacuate me and my daughter to my billeting area inside camp. By that time, the firefights were becoming intense everyday and there were many casualties reported by the media making him more worried.”

Without waiting for his graduation day, he arrived in Zamboanga City on board a C130 flight on September 20.

She said that he visited them (she and her daughter) inside the naval post to spend 30 minutes of his spare time before his insertion to the frontlines in Bgy. Sta Catalina.

“He was already wearing his combat attire. He was so excited to be with us especially with our daughter who barely knew him.”
 
“He was taking videos and photos of our child. He carried her and kissed her again and again. Then, he hugged us both before leaving for his first combat action against Misuari’s forces. 

Worries

Since Day 1 of his husband’s deployment, she could not control her own worries about him. The number of fatalities and wounded grew each day.

“Everytime there is an update on the tally of AFP casualties, I am hesitant to look at the names. I don’t want to see his name.”

Then, one by one, he saw familiar names including a friend, 1st Lt Carl Liwanag, who was wounded in the intense battles.

She said that occasionally, Francis would send her messages during lulls in fighting.

“Mommy, please send me new pairs of socks. Yung Biofresh ha,” she quoted him as saying.

She searched for stores that sell socks but almost all of them were closed down for fear of the attackers so she sent him her own socks.

Later in the day, Francis would send short text messages telling her that he was ‘okay’.

“Mommy, I have already received the package. Happy feet uli ako,” he said in a text message.

She managed to monitor her location through the daily updates on military units’ locations which were reflected on the map. She said that she didn’t bother to ask him about his situation so that he could stay focused.

“During lull moments, we talked about our family life. We discussed things about our daughter and our vacation plans,” she said, holding back tears. 

"I never asked him about his situation in the frontlines though I always had an idea due to my military background. I didn't want to disturb him and lose his focus on his delicate mission."

Shattered dreams

It was early morning on September 24 that she monitored the name of the latest casualty.

She didn’t want to believe the name that she heard: 1st Lt Francis Damian. WIA (Wounded In Action).

She rushed to the hospital where he was brought. He had a gaping wound in his head that the doctor didn’t want to show her.

He was already unconscious and unresponsive. She knew that her worst fear was about to come.

About 3 hours later, he was pronounced dead. She faced her worst nightmare.
 
“It is like our dreams were all shattered. I knew it is hard to accept reality; but, I am a soldier. Duty first.”

She gathered up her courage to help her face the reality that her beloved husband had passed away and it is now up to her to raise their daughter.  She knew that she is all that their little baby has.

Donning her black mourning outfit, she proudly stood beside his casket like any dutiful wife would do. 

 FAMILY MEMBERS. The members of the PMA Class 2007 are somewhat close to me because I had mentored them since their plebehood. Aside from our coaching sessions during marksmanship training, I also took time to share my leadership experience that would guide them in their future roles as military leaders. (Photos by Cpl Marlon San Esteban)
 

Victims
 

The fate of the Damian couple is just an example of how war and unrest can ruin lives and dreams.  These are the types of struggles that a soldier and his family might deal with sooner or later.  Lucky are those soldiers who go move on through their lives to become retirees.

Aemy wants to spend a leave up to her husband’s birthday on November 10.

She wants to raise her daughter all by herself , with the help of her loving family. She intends to be assigned elsewhere than Zamboanga to forget her bad experience and to able to recover from her painful loss.

A single bullet has separated them eternally. But, their love would last forever.